Introspection: The Need To Understand Oneself, Again.
I would like to be remembered for....
Finish that sentence.
How often have you sat pondering what life will be like without you?
For some it is morbid, for some it is motivation and for others it is what it is....for all it is inevitable.
If you're like me, you have realized that years fly by. I mean for pete sake, We've been open for 4 years now.....to some businesses, we are considered an infant...but 4 years has me personally feeling ancient.
That time went fast, yet still feels like its been ages at the same time.
There comes a time every now and then where I break down, I get sick (It's rare but it happens). Earlier this week I was blessed to get sick for 2 days which forced me to rest up in the house in solitary confinement. I tried watching TV, but it seemed so surreal and ultimately unappealing. I tried sleeping, day 1 i tackled that goal easily (lol) but day 2 my mind said no way.
I barely ate, and I essentially sat back in a comfy chair, read some articles, watched some videos, answered emailed, checked Facebook from time to time, and had a lot of time to live introspectively.
Which is rare..
I tend to keep a busy schedule, running from task to task and I had one main thought.
If this sickness were life threatening, would my legacy match my dreams? (of course i knew I wasn't dying...but metaphorically speaking). 4 years in the business, 29 years in life, have I accomplished enough to leave behind the legacy for my kids and wife to be proud of. Had I been on the right track?
This brought me to a spot where I had to own my mistakes, accept my weaknesses, but also praise my magnificence (and please don't misconstrue that word, magnificence is within each and every person..it does not make me unique to say I have it)
I love introspective time, (I swear I am a natural introvert....even if no one believes me lol). and my overall goal in writing this blog is to help you dial in your vision.... to understand your legacy, while taking action to shape it.
Legacy for some means money, for others it means reputation, or maybe a set of values. Legacy is a lose term to describe your remembrance. For some they want to be remembered for centuries by thousands perhaps millions of people and for others they want nothing more than to impact their children or local communities.... That is the beauty of legacy.
Mine does not have to be yours, and yours does not have to be mine.
I know wholeheartedly what I want my legacy to be (honestly I've known since I was a kid), and If you want to know shoot me a message or ask me in person. I'd love to converse with anyone about life, love and the pursuit of happiness...I also know I am not quite there yet, but by having this introspective time, it allowed me to really accept my life and redial in my needs and strategies to achieve it.
On the path called life, it flies by and if we don't prepare we ultimately will waste time. It's too easy to think "I'm doing alright" and accept it as fact, because hey, confidence. No one wants to feel like they dropped the ball.
we make excuses like "Hey, I could be doing a lot worse." or "Most people my age haven't done _____" to make ourselves feel good without really assessing who what and where we are in life.
Many things get overlooked because they seem powerful on the surface.
For example, working 60-80 hours a week nonstop seems admirable to a workaholic, but ultimately is quite foolish especially if its only one aspect of your "Legacy" (especially when it takes up over 65% of your given time on earth). and it begins to take a toll and their health.
Although the workaholic enjoys it (for the most part) , essentially it is not the right choice when it comes to actionable steps to leaving a legacy. and living a quality life.
Ultimately, as a coach I love to reach these moments to show that
- I am still human (as many people say things like "I don't know how you do it."), just because I can do it doesn't mean I should do it, and definitely doesn't make it anymore admirable in the grand scheme of things.
- I accept my flaws and failures but also learn to bask in my success better.
- I feel stronger than ever when I come back from these introspective moments.
- It strengthens relationships, and boosts moral.
- It makes the path to success and happiness 100x clearer.
- As human's we get stuck in routine, the introspective moments create a break in that routine which stirs up emotions and breakthroughs.
Introspective thinking is a skill that often gets forgotten due to the fact we as humans prefer to not hurt. We prefer to live our lives vicariously through others by reading their every move on Facebook, we watch movies to live in a fantasy, listen to music that often promotes a lifestyle we will never live....We constantly stray away from things that make us, us....in return, we feel less inadequacy. We are "not the problem" life is the problem....
But without pain, and acceptance there can be no fulfillment.
If you want to get better at ANYTHING
You have to accept your life, as the ultimate sum of all the decisions you have made. Then accept your flaws, to change them and create the life and legacy that YOU want to leave behind...
Want to get healthier, accept that you DON'T eat healthy and haven't committed to working out before, don't say "I tried, it didn't work for me..." or "I eat health-ish" accept your setbacks, flaws, and really embrace them...then you can change them.
Want to be a better person, Accept that the world is not your's, but ours....and then go out there and make it a better place. I guarantee the good that you put in the world, is an easy reflection of the good in you...if you are constantly putting negativity out there, its a reflection as well...just not a very good one.
Want to be a better parent, admit that you spend too much time on the "No's" and not enough on the "Let's gol" when your kid wants to play....
It's far to easy to justify our actions in the moment "Work is busy right now..." "I'm a single mom...." "I don't have the energy for that..."
Which them makes us feel ultimately ok when we fall short.
Allow yourself time to be open with yourself and readjust your vision....If your life doesn't fit your legacy, then you are lucky enough to be able to change it.....but you better act fast because time goes fast...
Trust me, I may be 29....but I was once just a kid...and it doesn't seem that long ago.
Here's my ultimate plan for for giving yourself ultimate introspective time, something I have begun to implement after this last sickness bout because, I realized I needed to make some changes.
Try to take a walk, once a day. No headphones, no phone. 5-10 minutes minimum. If you can't walk, sit....no headphones, no phone....just think.
A lot comes out in the silence....
You are the creator of your legacy.... We just need to learn to understand ourselves better to create it...
How do you want to be remembered?