Whats Holding You Back: What To Do About It
I recently polled our students at the dojo. I asked "what is holding you back in your health and fitness goals?" and them being the honest and open people they are, they provided a lot of insight into their minds, allowing me to look deeper into how to help them.
Today I want to share with you a few of their responses and also give some ideas that may help you and them overcome these obstacles.
You see one thing amazed me...We had quite a few obstacles stated, but in essence, each obstacle was shared by other students as well.
This means that first and foremost you do not have to struggle alone, but it also means that you should not be ashamed of your struggle. It is "normal"...to fall off the wagon, to take an easier path, to skip the workout. No one can honestly judge you, knowing that they struggle just as hard...if they do, it is on them...not you.
Normal doesn't mean better though, and you definitely deserve better.
So instead of telling you "you can do better..." I figured it be far better to hopefully provide a solution.
When I revisited the question and re-read everyone's response I could find that their responses really fit only to 4 main struggles.. The answers may have been worded differently, but when you break it down it really lies in one of these 4 areas:
Here I will talk about how to identify and overcome these struggles
So you struggle with motivation?
What does this look like.......
Common Struggles: "working out is too hard." "It's too far to drive to." "Let's eat out, I don't feel like cooking." "Life sucks..." "What's the point..." "It's not worth it"
How to overcome this struggle: Change your "No's"to "Yes"....seriously, I know it may "suck" at first...as you will be doing things that you do not feel like doing. But often times the hardest part of finding motivation is getting started. Whether it is working out, eating a healthy meal, reading a book, or nurturing a relationship....The idea of the start is the hardest part, saying "yes, I'll be there" is scary.
Once you go through it though, you will begin to feel better because of your commitment and follow through. I wish there was an easy way to sugar coat it, or make it "easier" for you but there really isn't. The more you do things, the more normal it becomes...the easier it will seem. We are creatures of habit and right now your habit is NOT going to the gym....so you have to change that habit consciously.
So there just is not enough TIME in the day?
You say there's no time.....
Common Struggle: Balancing kids, work, spouse, eating healthy, working out, checking your Facebook, watching your Netflix, and Happy Hour at the bar....
The last few I am totally halfway joking about as I know you aren't all lushes, so please don't take offense...but this is seriously reality for many..
It's not that there isn't enough time, there just isn't enough time management, and prioritization. If your goal is to get healthier, it needs to be a priority. It takes time to be unhealthy too.
Sitting in a drive through for 10+ minutes, plus the drive to the restaurant and back to work....time adds up.It easily can cost you 25-60 minutes just to get your food, eat it and be back in the office. If you were to bring a lunch that would SAVE you easily up to 45 minutes (permitting we give ya 15 minutes to eat). (it won't take more than 10 minutes to throw together something at home, even less if you eat left overs.
Many people will say that It takes to much time to get to the gym, workout and get home....permitting you most likely live within 15 minutes of your gym and you spend an hour there, then 15 minutes back...that is 1.5 hours.
How much time do you spend watching the Bachelor or The Walking Dead? How much time do you spend looking at meme's, Facebook videos, or getting into cyber disputes over topics that don't directly impact you.
It all adds up, and I guarantee if you were to prioritize 3-4 hours a week, you would not only cut down on some of the bad habits that hold you back, but you'd work, think and move much more efficiently too. Fitness doesn't just take time, it makes time...
"Cus Baby, I'm emotional...."
One major set back for people is emotional eating, or struggling to let go of bad habits. I paired these together because your habits are directly related to an emotional response that they deliver.
Common Struggle: Escapism via media outlets and Unhealthy Eating habits as a way to suppress or soothe negative emotions, such as stress, anger, fear, boredom, sadness and loneliness.
I have 3 really simple and NATURAL suggestions for you to fix this.
1) Eat better.....good nutrition will balance out your hormones, provide mental clarity, and allow you to make better decisions when in a stressful state.
2) Accept that you are MEANT TO BE emotional....you are human, and so is everyone else. don't be ashamed of it, that is often why people cover it up with other outlets such as eating or TV.
3) When you feel upset and feel as if you need to binge on your favorite vice, stop and do something active for 5 minutes...take a walk, do some jumping jacks, bust out some push ups etc. This will trigger endorphin's to release and help you feel better naturally.
Seriously, you have emotion, accept it....but you have to use it to fuel desire, passion, and change...if you don't you will pile it under the rug of bad habits. until its too much to hide....
"I don't deserve it..."
Yes you do.
Common Struggles: "I don't want to be selfish...." "I want to look better, but I don't want to be vain", "I can't change who I am..." "I've been this way my whole life...." "Nobody want's to see that..." "There's no way I can _____"
Plain and simple. Society has taught us that caring about ourselves is selfish. A person decided to get a baby sitter 3 times a week to go to the gym and gets put down as neglecting their kids. Eating healthy is cruel to the kids that don't get to eat "normal" like their friends do...
You definitely DESERVE to be healthy, you don't deserve to be ridiculed and judged because of it.....
I mean come on, it is your life...
You deserve to be happy. (and your happiness is not for me or anyone else to judge) You were blessed with this opportunity to live.
You deserve to make the best of it...You deserve health and happiness. There is no valid argument against it....
In essence when I think of struggle, or obstacles that people face...if you break it down enough times it eventually comes down to one thing.
Making a decision that you are worth it.
If you lack motivation, you don't understand the value. You may know the value of health and fitness is less body fat, more lean muscle, and decreased health issues...but you don't understand your value. You are valuable, deserve a high quality of life....
If you lack time, you most likely misuse time. I catch myself scrolling on Facebook all of the time, and consciously have to remind myself to do something productive.Most likely, you are like me. It is not that you don't have enough time, it is that you don't fully value the time that you do have.
If you are emotional, you most likely are human. Being emotional isn't the cause of eating, and unhealthy activity....attempting to hide your emotion is the problem. Find a productive outlet, a healthy outlet, and don't be afraid to be vulnerable. If you value a clear head and full heart, being okay with yourself is numero uno.
If you feel that you don't deserve success, its not that you don't deserve success, it is that you spend too much time focusing on your faults and failures and not enough on your qualities and values....You have to understand your values to feel valuable.
You are valuable.
You deserve success.
You deserve LIFE.
But ultimately, until you BELIEVE it, you won't achieve it.
So to put it simply:
You are worth the change.....no matter how hard it is, you are worth it.
Realize your magnificence.
Yours in Strength,